Emily Dickinson once made the astute observation that the truth is such a rare thing it is a guilty pleasure to tell it. Indeed it seems that the western world, one of institutional bureaucracy, lying has become so common place that it binds us together, supporting our precarious relationships and fragile societal order.
This past week (as many of you are aware), I have been keeping a record of every lie I tell. Whether it be a simple exaggeration, or a small omission of the truth, contextual lies and false flattery alike have all been recorded.
I am happy to admit, that I expected to record the occasional lie, everyone lies. However, when forced to examine each social interaction and sift through my conversations, I was alarmed at just how many words passed my lips which could be considered a lie (from a social psychological perspective). Perhaps more worryingly, was the lack of effect that recording these lies had on me. Lying it seems, has become an almost autonomic response (a reflex), so much so that we fail to acknowledge that it is taking place.
So, now that you all questioning your trust in me, lets look at the casualties.
9 Bluffs
8 Contextual lies
6 Fabrications
4 False flatteries
5 misleading lies/ommission of the truth
3 exaggerations (hyperbole not included)
3 Emergency lies
The only lies to strangers involved false flattery or omission of the truth, and the most common lies to friends were contextual lies.
Fabrications are something which I found particularly interesting to examine, because it is possible for a scenario to exist, whereby you offer something you believe to be the truth, but have no proof of, and it is still considered a lie. Thus, I was stringent in my assessment, and deemed anything for which I had no proof but stated as truth as a fabrication. Contextual lies were similar in that many involved simply filling in gaps in my memory, a seemingly innocent act. Or else using an event or idea out of context in order to make an argument or a point, though this is perhaps a more self-serving undertaking.
This so called "Book of Lies" has really gotten under my skin, leading to alternating guilt and bemusement, and the ultimate conclusion that the fabric of society is one held together by a web of lies.
I want you to close your eyes for a moment (when you finish reading obviously) and picture for a moment a world without lies. No, more than that, picture a world of radical honesty. For those you that have seen the 2005 "Invention of Lying" this wont be a difficult task, for those of you who haven't, I recommend you do.
It's a world where everyone lacks not only the ability to tell an outright lie, but also the ability to "step around" the truth, hence everything they are thinking, they express to others.
She'll tell you your voice is somewhat shrill and you talk too much when you're nervous, and in light of this, she won't kiss you goodnight because she never plans to see you again, even though you tell her she is quite possibly the most beautiful girl you have ever met.
He'll pass you in the street and tell you that because everyone has enlightened him to the fact he's a failure, he is going to kill himself, only you won't be able to correct them, or tell him you know that everything will be okay, because you don't so you can't.
You'll take your feverish child to the hospital and the doctors will tell you that most children with fevers over 40 degrees Celsius die and that there is absolutely nothing that they can do, except appreciate how lucky they themselves are that their own kids are safe at home.
Yes, sometimes, lies are self-serving and Machiavellian, they hurt and they maim. I don't deny that. But I guess, in spite of this the point I am trying to make is that whether or not lying is morally wrong, or the truth is inevitable, sometimes lies are necessary. Because sometimes they are the only thing that keeps us together on our incessant search for meaning in this directionless, apathetic world. So who are you or I to say what is and what isn't a legitimate reason to lie?
Mark Twain once said "The truth is the most valuable thing we have" he went to add "that is why I conserve it".
Till next time; always tell the truth even if you have to lie and remember sometimes it is possible to be surer of what is kind than what is true.
This is Zee, the liar.
Signing out.
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