Day Three/Seven:
I am going to blame the lack of recent entires decisively on a phenomenon known as "Bush week" ANU's O-week take-2... Lets just say, I'd never had a hangover at 6pm but it turns out that drinking from 10am onward has that effect (though ibuprofen negates it some what, don't try that at home kids).
Today I want to explore the concept of "dating" vs "Boyfriend/Girlfriend, Girlfriend/Girlfriend, Boyfriend/Boyfriend (and everything in between!)".
Essentially the transformation of the concept of a "date", a "one night stand", and a modern "relationship".
Here's what the Oxford dictionary has to say about dating:
To go out with on a social or romanic appointment or engagement.
Is that not ridiculously open?
It sure seems that way, and hey what's wrong with that? For our generation going on "dates" has become a way to express interest in someone commitment free, to get to know someone having already established a mutual attraction and the future possibility of sexual activity.
Entering into University I've noticed more than ever, that going out with someone, now actually involves really going somewhere, the synonymity between going out and being Girl Friend and Girl Friend, Boy Friend and Boy Friend has gradually faded into obscurity.
I sat with friends over drinks recently discussing when it is that seeing someone becomes a relationship, (a word which in self was under definitional debate and eventually agreed upon to mean one couldn't see other people with out expecting some scrutiny). There was no consensus on this issue, but here's a few suggestions that came up-
The Three Date Rule, with sub clauses 1 and 2.
The rule goes something like this; After 3 mutually agreed upon, planned, dates on separate occasions, in places which can be considered public (take a breath!) those involved should consider themselves involved enough not to go on dates with other people.
Sub claus one: If sex should precede these three dates (by an amount no more than one month) then the 3 date rule is rendered null and void, because this implies sexually promiscuity.
Sub claus two: If one or more of the persons involved should drunkenly engage in sexual activity with another person, the three dates must reoccur, with the other person being aware of this activity before the relationship can be considered serious.
Pre-dating as opposed to real dating, again this applies to the first few dates, but in general more so when the person in question wasn't known to you prior to dating, these "pre-dates" give you a chance to sus them out per say.
Discussed monogamy A relationship should only become monogamous when both partners have brought up and discussed the concept before deciding to be reciprocally monogamous.
Excuse the language that follows....
But who the fuck makes up these rules?!
That is the most ridiculous hypothetically constructed, narrow minded, load of...
I respect the human need to make rules but in any case, I don't think relationships can be pigeon-holed into neat little categorical stereotypes or guidelines.
Because in short, love and attraction make about as much sense as taking a flight to Canberra when your destination is London. Asking for socks for Christmas and expecting an iPhone... wearing a T-shirt that says "I thought it was funny" to a memorial service... you get the idea.
To be honest I'll admit that I have a few rules of my own, but I break them so often that they're more like guidelines anyway.
In no particular order;
-Never text someone twice when they don't reply (I am the worst over text-er)
-If you hook up with someone in a club, without prior conversation, no matter how hot, don't learn their name, it's like naming puppies, you'll want to keep them and they're not boy friend/ girl friend material.
-Do not introduce love interests to your family or best friends until you know there's a possibility it might last.
-Do not talk about your ex's unless they talk about there's and its relevant.
-If someone gives you there number, and you give them yours, do not text them for at least 24 hours, 48 is better.
That's all that comes to mind, go ahead and judge, but question your own rules, I know you all have them and I want you to think about whether they're necessary in our society, and whether they're holding you back.
Till next time,
Take risks and keep it real.
-Z
ps. Here's my old notes, worth a read, everything from natural selection in humans to homosexuality in animals.
http://www.facebook.com/Idburnthiscitydowntoshowyouthelight?v=app_2347471856#!/note.php?note_id=424234910080
http://www.facebook.com/Idburnthiscitydowntoshowyouthelight?v=app_2347471856#!/note.php?note_id=425207940080
http://www.facebook.com/Idburnthiscitydowntoshowyouthelight?v=app_2347471856#!/note.php?note_id=431422375080
http://www.facebook.com/notes.php?id=1150418941#!/note.php?note_id=444278230080
http://www.facebook.com/Idburnthiscitydowntoshowyouthelight?v=app_2347471856#!/note.php?note_id=444278230080
I am going to blame the lack of recent entires decisively on a phenomenon known as "Bush week" ANU's O-week take-2... Lets just say, I'd never had a hangover at 6pm but it turns out that drinking from 10am onward has that effect (though ibuprofen negates it some what, don't try that at home kids).
Today I want to explore the concept of "dating" vs "Boyfriend/Girlfriend, Girlfriend/Girlfriend, Boyfriend/Boyfriend (and everything in between!)".
Essentially the transformation of the concept of a "date", a "one night stand", and a modern "relationship".
Here's what the Oxford dictionary has to say about dating:
To go out with on a social or romanic appointment or engagement.
Is that not ridiculously open?
It sure seems that way, and hey what's wrong with that? For our generation going on "dates" has become a way to express interest in someone commitment free, to get to know someone having already established a mutual attraction and the future possibility of sexual activity.
Entering into University I've noticed more than ever, that going out with someone, now actually involves really going somewhere, the synonymity between going out and being Girl Friend and Girl Friend, Boy Friend and Boy Friend has gradually faded into obscurity.
I sat with friends over drinks recently discussing when it is that seeing someone becomes a relationship, (a word which in self was under definitional debate and eventually agreed upon to mean one couldn't see other people with out expecting some scrutiny). There was no consensus on this issue, but here's a few suggestions that came up-
The Three Date Rule, with sub clauses 1 and 2.
The rule goes something like this; After 3 mutually agreed upon, planned, dates on separate occasions, in places which can be considered public (take a breath!) those involved should consider themselves involved enough not to go on dates with other people.
Sub claus one: If sex should precede these three dates (by an amount no more than one month) then the 3 date rule is rendered null and void, because this implies sexually promiscuity.
Sub claus two: If one or more of the persons involved should drunkenly engage in sexual activity with another person, the three dates must reoccur, with the other person being aware of this activity before the relationship can be considered serious.
Pre-dating as opposed to real dating, again this applies to the first few dates, but in general more so when the person in question wasn't known to you prior to dating, these "pre-dates" give you a chance to sus them out per say.
Discussed monogamy A relationship should only become monogamous when both partners have brought up and discussed the concept before deciding to be reciprocally monogamous.
Excuse the language that follows....
But who the fuck makes up these rules?!
That is the most ridiculous hypothetically constructed, narrow minded, load of...
I respect the human need to make rules but in any case, I don't think relationships can be pigeon-holed into neat little categorical stereotypes or guidelines.
Because in short, love and attraction make about as much sense as taking a flight to Canberra when your destination is London. Asking for socks for Christmas and expecting an iPhone... wearing a T-shirt that says "I thought it was funny" to a memorial service... you get the idea.
To be honest I'll admit that I have a few rules of my own, but I break them so often that they're more like guidelines anyway.
In no particular order;
-Never text someone twice when they don't reply (I am the worst over text-er)
-If you hook up with someone in a club, without prior conversation, no matter how hot, don't learn their name, it's like naming puppies, you'll want to keep them and they're not boy friend/ girl friend material.
-Do not introduce love interests to your family or best friends until you know there's a possibility it might last.
-Do not talk about your ex's unless they talk about there's and its relevant.
-If someone gives you there number, and you give them yours, do not text them for at least 24 hours, 48 is better.
That's all that comes to mind, go ahead and judge, but question your own rules, I know you all have them and I want you to think about whether they're necessary in our society, and whether they're holding you back.
Till next time,
Take risks and keep it real.
-Z
ps. Here's my old notes, worth a read, everything from natural selection in humans to homosexuality in animals.
http://www.facebook.com/Idburnthiscitydowntoshowyouthelight?v=app_2347471856#!/note.php?note_id=424234910080
http://www.facebook.com/Idburnthiscitydowntoshowyouthelight?v=app_2347471856#!/note.php?note_id=425207940080
http://www.facebook.com/Idburnthiscitydowntoshowyouthelight?v=app_2347471856#!/note.php?note_id=431422375080
http://www.facebook.com/notes.php?id=1150418941#!/note.php?note_id=444278230080
http://www.facebook.com/Idburnthiscitydowntoshowyouthelight?v=app_2347471856#!/note.php?note_id=444278230080
1 comment:
Maybe you're right and rules don't have to EVER apply. But I will never forget that the giddy flirtiness of the first few times you meet someone is called pre-dating, and my only real rules are "stop thinking, go where the wind blows and going out of your way is rarely worth it." Over analysis kills everything, but it can help rationalize a person out of stupid behaviour. So, screw the rules (but think about them anyway). : )
Danni
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