Hey Kids (and Dougie),
Have you asked your self why it is that we're required to act disinterested in someone we find attractive in order to increase their interest?
Surely it's not only me to whom it has occurred that this poses the ridiculous problem of people who are genuinely disinterested being mistook for the few who are interested.
Its like a game, only all the players have been blindfolded and then asked to perform heart surgery with a shovel.
To quote "He's Just Not That Into You" (2009)
"Every movie we see, Every story we're told implores us to wait for it, the third act twist, the unexpected declaration of love, the exception to the rule..."
Except most of the time, we aren't the exception, we're the rule.
-She didn't come because she doesn't want to see you
-He didn't call because he doesn't want to talk to you
There was no phone with a flat battery, no accidental double-booking, no broken down bus or sick grandmother.
I hate that people have to make these excuses at all, why can't we directly express that we are attracted to someone and would like to get to know them with out the lingering assumption of over-commitment or immediacy?
Just because she doesn't wait 24 hours after you give her your number to call you it doesn't mean she wants to get married and have your children.
Just because he asks you for coffee the day after a one night stand, doesn't mean he's going to introduce you to his parents next.
Maybe she just want to get to know you better, maybe he's scared that he rushed things, maybe you should say yes with out reading into it, with out searching for signs of the game.
I challenge you all to stop playing the game, to be honest about your emotions and break the rules.
This is your heart surgeon with glasses instead of a blindfold,
Signing out.
-Z
8 comments:
honesty is after all, for sure, the best policy!
If we're all honest and open about how we feel about someone (pushing aside the very possible chance of being rejected or, worse, expelled) then the whole "spice-of-life" becomes a bland ricecake. The unknowing, although excruciating and seemingly unnecessary, breaks what would be a monotonous Garvey-like day to day trudging.
If we're all honest and open about how we feel about someone (pushing aside the very possible chance of being rejected or, worse, expelled) then the whole "spice-of-life" becomes a bland ricecake. The unknowing, although excruciating and seemingly unnecessary, breaks what would be a monotonous Garvey-like day to day trudging.
Im pretty honest about my emotions, the guy I like knows I like him and I know he doesnt like me.
We're still great friends :D
Zara you know that I don't really play that game.
Ruyi- What about when honest and we're not rejected though? What if we could skip the weeks or months or years of courting, countering, and parrying. The tension and the awful unknowing and get straight to the good parts of a relationship, thats hardly. drudgery. And think of the time saved on people who never come through in the end, no more leading on etc?
Dani- What if we're never the exception? We can't all be the exception, thats what makes it an exception. I don't think being honest about our emotions will lead to arranged marriages! lol, you're buying into the game right there... skipping the ridiculous pretending and toying with people doesn't mean that the relationship/one night stand/date need be anymore serious than it would be otherwise... it just means no wasted energy or tears playing the waiting game.
Laura and Genesis- Good work.
LOL! Oh Zaza, I get that you want to stop getting your feelings hurt, hun. I respect that, I do. I just really really love that part of dating. All the disappointments that will happen are worth it for the one person that actually texts back, that rings, takes you on date no. 2... That amazingly happy feeling that comes with a simple 'I was thinking of you'... You know? That's not to say that sometimes I skip this 'game' as you've dubbed it, because sometimes I do and think it's great. But life would be so boring if everyone had a great big 'yes please' or 'no thanks' above their heads.
And, I honestly, 100% believe that one day everyone gets an exception. They just need to recognize it when they do. Or, maybe you get to make someone else your exception... It's all good. Maybe it won't last forever, but not everyone will ignore every text or never think that YOU are perfect for them , just the way you are
Zara Waterson I'm not sure I believe that the excitement associated with that person who does text back/rings/takes you on date number is really any thing more than a element of the societal mind set we're stuck in that says we should be excited because its so unlikely that someone should express genuine interest... and maybe it wouldn't be unlikely if didn't all send such mixed messages. I think it's relief and not excitement, which is a melancholy sentiment to say the least. Don't get me wrong, I'm glad you can find some all hope in all of this x but I'm not enough of a romantic clearly lol!
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