The Science Behind the Perfect One-Night-Stand

Dear readers, it has been 281 days since my last blog. If this sounds like a confession, that’s because it is. I confess, to my unfortunate tendency to only write beautiful, witty, cynically morbid things when I’m sexually frustrated or hopelessly in love. Having, until recently, been a long-term relationship, I was neither of those things. I confess also therefore to masochistic habit of only wanting things I cannot have. 

As to which of those things is motivating my new desire to write I’ll let, my readers decide, but suffice to say this blog was long over due.

So, now back my usual disillusioned state of being, where love and god are hypothetical constructs and happiness is a complex here goes… take it from someone who knows:

The Science Behind the Perfect One-Night-Stand

 (With a little bit of math thrown in the send you on your way to success).

Lets start with things NOT to do (Nobody falls harder than I do… science is easy to absorb after a good laugh anyway, yes I really did do all of these things).

1. DO NOT pick up a friend’s date. Even if their date is clearly flirting with you. Even if you ask them, and they say it’s ok. Even if they are ridiculously good looking.
2. DO NOT have sex with your best friends sister and/or his girlfriend.
3. DO NOT buy a girl a puppy/bike/flowers. Even if she expressed that she would like them. One-night-stands are not meant to be expensive.
4. DO NOT have a summer fling with anyone who can afford to fly to your country of residence… ask me about that sometime.
5. ABSOLUTELY DO NOT move states and/or countries for a girl. A two year plan is a plan which is two years too long.
6. THE MOST IMPORTANT RULE (as stated by Dr. Karl) 

DO NOT HAVE SEX WITH SOMEONE WITH MORE PROBLEMS THAN YOU.

So why do we break these rules? (Or maybe it’s just me in my moral relativism). Lets start with the concept of propinquity.  

The Propinquity Effect "the more we see and interact with a person, the more likely he or she is to become our friend or sexual partner." 

Believe or not this can be seen in every large apartment block or densely populated neighborhood. Where significance of friendship demonstrates a positive correlation with proximity of living, working or even parking.  This correlation is independent of shared attitudes or similarities. The less time you interact with someone the less likely you are to like or consider them your friend. It’s like a sort of evolutionary mechanism to make sure we don’t live miserable unfulfilled lives, never meeting the perfect lover.

How ever from a social psychology perspective, quite frankly it’s a disaster waiting to happen. If more people were attracted to utter and complete strangers I guarantee the world would have less problems. The old adage of not fucking friends exists for a reason (ok, so I revamped it a little there).

On top of the fact you are more likely to want to engage in a sexual relationship with people you know… You then have the effects of oxytocin, single handedly working to destroy your sexual freedom.

Oxytocin is a hormone that acts as a neuromodulator in the brain. It’s released in large quantities during childbirth and helps facilitate the bond between mother and child, inducing maternal behaviors and reducing neonatal stress levels.

However, oxytocin has a more sinister role in life. Two well-conducted independent studies to date have found that plasma oxytocin levels rise during orgasm.

Which sounds harmless… until you consider the art of the one-night-stand. Which involves NOT becoming attached to the averagely attractive girl you chatted up after 16 tequila shots (it can be done. Trust me). However, it seems entirely plausible that the oxytocin released during sex. No. During GOOD sex, could be generating false “maternal” affection and behaviors in both women and men.

But despite the things working against it, the one-night-stand has some definite advantages.

A meta-analysis of 10 recent studies into the topic, including data from over 16,000 individuals in Britain suggests that statistically both men and women experience a net gain in confidence, sense of wellbeing and contentment after a one-night-stand. It seems only lesbians (trust!) showed a significant level of negative emotions and loss of self-esteem. Why is it we always have to make things more complicated than they are? Where do we go wrong?

Anyway kids, I have an assignment on the sciatic nerve to write.

I don’t have all the answers, but I’ll leave you with the following tips:

1. Throw away your mobile.
2. Only have sex with strangers.

AND…

1. Never, ever learn her name.

Till next time,

this Zee, the lonely lesbian with too many cats…

Signing out.

Ps. Opinions on this angsty poem much appreciated:

The Puzzle Box:

Beautifully intricate, an insolent mystery, untouched by time.

But corroding my consciousness, always,

The curiosity, the wanting, the subtle sedition, the selfish desire;

to solve the unsolvable puzzle.

Till one day my frustrated fingers slip. The puzzle shatters.

And I ask my self:

Is it better to have a beautiful bemusing puzzle or no puzzle at all?

Girls will be Boys and Boys will be Girls

It's been over a month now since my last blog, which kills me, so I am now committed to blogging twice a week regardless of my crazy job or upcoming exams. 

Today, an issue that hits close to home for me: transsexuality. I'm sure many of you have heard the age-old argument that being transgendered is little more than a psychological disorder. So I guess I want to explore the basis for a genetic explanation and also the idea that even psychological disorders stem from a biological cause- hormonal, structural, or otherwise. 

Lets start with a bit of terminology; I have already used both the terms transgender and transexual and many people use them interchangeably. However, there are distinct differences between the two words. The first being the obvious discord between "gender" and "sex", the first being a social construct and the later a biological phenotype. 

Transexualism refers to an individual who identifies with a gender which is different to their sex at birth. It was first described by Magnus Hirshfeld who wrote a journal paper in the 1930s with reference to the first genital reassignment surgery. However, the english term "transexual" was not introduced until 1949 by D. O Cauldwell (who interestingly shares the same surname as my first girl crush). He used the term to refer to people who wished to change their physiological sex. 

In contrast, transgender has come to be used as more of an "umbrella term" (only standing under this umbrella will get you wet). Transgenderism refers to people who do not typically conform to gender roles associated with their sex and may identify with a different gender without the overwhelming necessity to change their physiological sex. The term is thought to have been coined by Charles "Virginia" Prince. She wrote, "I know the difference between gender and sex and have simply elected to change the former and not the latter". 

So, moving on to the science, kids. 

Firstly, correlations do exist between transgenderism and genetics. One of these is a gene variant described in 2008 in Vienna which is associated with female-to-male transgendered individuals. The variation relates to an enzymes involved in metabolizing sex hormones and can influence early brain development via increased testosterone levels. 44% of the 50 trans-men involved in this Austrian study carried the gene. 

Transgenderism has long been identified as a psychological disorder described as "Gender Dysphoria". Many trans individuals are upset by this and while I would argue that transgenderism is definitely NOT a "mental disorder" - homosexuality was also described as a mental disorder in the Psychiatric Handbook until the 1970s - I am hesitant to dismiss the evidence supporting the idea that the brain does play a role. That is not to say it is not genetic or present at birth, simply that the cause centres around neurological changes (most likely hormonal). 

So what is Gender Dysphoria?Essentially, it is described as discontentment with the sex one is born with. By definition, it is present from very early childhood, with reports of confusion about physiological body features starting from as young as 2 years of age. Perhaps the most alarming facet of this is that self-harm commonly occurs by 8 years of age, when individuals try to change body parts which do not match with perceived gender identity. Every year children are taken to hospital with mutilated penises and breasts from desperate attempts to remove them. 

One parent "Sally Jones" says her daughter "Nick", who was born male, has identified as female since she was 5 years old and first attempted suicide at 13 because her body disgusted her and the ridicule she faced for opting to wear girls' clothing was just too much. 

It is because of this self-harm in children that a huge medical debate is underway internationally as to whether or not we should allow the use of hormone-suppressant drugs to stop the onset of puberty in transgendered children to allow them time to consider gender reassignment surgery without the often unbearable changes to their bodies which commence with puberty. 

Clinics in the Netherlands have now began prescribing "puberty blockers" to children as young as 11. They claim that no one has ever come to them regretting the treatment. I think this is a wonderful step forward and yet, at the same time, the United Kingdom and much of the US and our own country refuse to give intervention treatments until age 16, when they believe children are "old enough to decide". However, the irreversible developmental bodily changes (such as breasts or facial hair) are well underway by the age of 16. 

The first case in Australia to allow for hormone suppressants occurred in 2004 and (after a long court battle) was allowed. I would elaborate on the case but I have been unable to find more than vague references on the matter. More recently, a male-identified twelve-year-old in Victoria was also granted permission by the Family Court to undergo puberty-blocking treatment as well apply for passports and medicare documents under his preferred gender. 

The controversy this was met with and furthermore the fact it had to be taken to court is ridiculous. The hormone-suppressant treatment is reversible and more importantly, life-saving. 

I leave you today I hope not depressed but informed,

This is Z singing out.

Good luck for exams!

Orgasmic Science

Orgasm is a physiological response caused by the autonomic nervous system over which we have no conscious control. It is essentially the contraction of pelvic and abdominal muscles initiated by a spinal reflex caused by sexual stimulation. But what does that even mean? We understand the mechanism but why does it happen? Unless you believe in God and consider orgasm some kind of "gift" to us, then we have a lot to discuss, kids. 

So lets go back to the beginning, when do orgasms begin?Believe it or not, male fetuses have been observed to masturbate in the womb shortly after the development of both spinal nerves and fingers. This poses the idea that the experience is instinctive and not learned. 

For men, evolutionarily speaking, orgasms are beneficial to the species. They encourage reproduction through pleasure and are associated with the ejaculation of sperm. Strangely enough, women are also able to experience orgasms despite little evolutionary reason for this. I'm sorry, ladies, but your pleasure does not increase fecundity. So why do women have orgasms then? 

For quite some time, a popular theory circulated suggesting that orgasmic contractions of the uterus are designed to suck up sperm from the vagina, but this has since been proven fictitious. 

No one, as of yet, has a decisive answer to my question, but a likely possibility is that female orgasm is an evolutionary accident caused by the shared developmental pathways in the uterus between males and females, similar to that of nipples in men. Women need nipples to supply milk to their young, but men have them, too. They may not give milk, but like female nipples they can be sexually stimulated. 

Nipples aren't the only thing that can cause sexual stimulation, or even orgasm. Paraplegics often develop a sexually sensitive area above the site of their injury. One heavily-researched woman in the US even orgasmed when cleaning her teeth. 

So what happens to our brains during orgasm? A brain scanning study conducted recently by the University of Groningen demonstrated that areas of women's brains literally switch off during orgasm, including those involved in emotion and caution (remember oxytocin?). The effect existed in men, but to a lesser degree, perhaps because male orgasms are shorter (though more regular). 

It is a common misconception (though not amongst lesbians!) that the female orgasm is designed to happen during heterosexual sex. Data actually shows that while many women struggle to climax during heterosexual penetrative sex, they can usually orgasm via direct clitoral stimulation. In the case of lesbians, both penetration and clitoral stimulation, on average, cause greater sexual arousal than in heterosexual females. Take that!

The National Health Service in the UK estimates that people who have more than two orgasms a week and twice as likely to live to their 60's and that regular sex improves cardiovascular health in teenagers. It has even been suggested that orgasms can be a cure for hiccups. I have an exam on Monday... So till next time, kids, and remember that orgasms are good for many things.

This is Z, signing out.

The Invention of Lying

Emily Dickinson once made the astute observation that the truth is such a rare thing it is a guilty pleasure to tell it. Indeed it seems that the western world, one of institutional bureaucracy, lying has become so common place that it binds us together, supporting our precarious relationships and fragile societal order.


This past week (as many of you are aware), I have been keeping a record of every lie I tell. Whether it be a simple exaggeration, or a small omission of the truth, contextual lies and false flattery alike have all been recorded.


I am happy to admit, that I expected to record the occasional lie,  everyone lies. However, when forced to examine each social interaction and sift through my conversations, I was alarmed at just how many words passed my lips which could be considered a lie (from a social psychological perspective). Perhaps more worryingly, was the lack of effect that recording these lies had on me. Lying it seems, has become an almost autonomic response (a reflex), so much so that we fail to acknowledge that it is taking place.


So, now that you all questioning your trust in me, lets look at the casualties.


9 Bluffs
8 Contextual lies
6 Fabrications
4 False flatteries
5 misleading lies/ommission of the truth
3 exaggerations (hyperbole not included)
3 Emergency lies


The only lies to strangers involved false flattery or omission of the truth, and the most common lies to friends were contextual lies.


Fabrications are something which I found particularly interesting to examine, because it is possible for a scenario to exist, whereby you offer something you believe to be the truth, but have no proof of, and it is still considered a lie. Thus, I was stringent in my assessment, and deemed anything for which I had no proof but stated as truth as a fabrication. Contextual lies were similar in that many involved simply filling in gaps in my memory, a seemingly innocent act. Or else using an event or idea out of context in order to make an argument or a point, though this is perhaps a more self-serving undertaking.


This so called "Book of Lies" has really gotten under my skin, leading to alternating guilt and bemusement, and the ultimate conclusion that the fabric of society is one held together by a web of lies.


I want you to close your eyes for a moment (when you finish reading obviously) and picture for a moment a world without lies. No, more than that, picture a world of radical honesty. For those you that have seen the 2005 "Invention of Lying" this wont be a difficult task, for those of you who haven't, I recommend you do.
It's a world where everyone lacks not only the ability to tell an outright lie, but also the ability to "step around" the truth, hence everything they are thinking, they express to others.


She'll tell you your voice is somewhat shrill and you talk too much when you're nervous, and in light of this, she won't kiss you goodnight because she never plans to see you again, even though you tell her she is quite possibly the most beautiful girl you have ever met.


He'll pass you in the street and tell you that because everyone has enlightened him to the fact he's a failure, he is going to kill himself, only you won't be able to correct them, or tell him you know that everything will be okay, because you don't so you can't.


You'll take your feverish child to the hospital and the doctors will tell you that most children with fevers over 40 degrees Celsius die and that there is absolutely nothing that they can do, except appreciate how lucky they themselves are that their own kids are safe at home.


Yes, sometimes, lies are self-serving and Machiavellian, they hurt and they maim. I don't deny that. But I guess, in spite of this the point I am trying to make is that whether or not lying is morally wrong, or the truth is inevitable, sometimes lies are necessary. Because sometimes they are the only thing that keeps us together on our incessant search for meaning in this directionless, apathetic world. So who are you or I  to say what is and what isn't a legitimate reason to lie?


Mark Twain once said "The truth is the most valuable thing we have" he went to add "that is why I conserve it".


Till next time; always tell the truth even if you have to lie and remember sometimes it is possible to be surer of what is kind than what is true.
This is Zee, the liar.
Signing out.

Same-Sex Families

It seems that in having put off writing this blog, it is now partially topical with the current debate in New South Wales parliament surrounding gay couples' right to adopt.

In case you haven't already guessed, what I want to explore today is the idea of homosexual verses heterosexual parenting, an issue, which, despite my own sexuality, I have often pondered. So after tireless hours, and dozens of psychology journals, I bring you what I hope will be an insightful perspective on same-sex parented families.

Firstly, it is important to consider that there are many limitations looking into so-called "gay families". For this reason you will notice that much of the research relates to families with two mothers as opposed to two fathers (the former being a more legal and viable option at the present time). Thus, please do not assume this is my personal bias, I have tried to include as much information here as possible.

1 in 5 lesbian women and 1 in 10 gay men in the US describe themselves as a parent (very few reliable Australian statistics exist, though I doubt we have less gay parents, more likely an ardent hate of math!).

Just as with heterosexual families however, homosexual families come in a wide variety of types, including single parents (I myself come from a single parent family). Research since the mid-1980's (Golombok S, Spencer A & Rutter M, 1983) has consistently found that parents' sexual orientation does not correlate with changes in children's behavior or social relationships, when looking at single mothers, either homosexual or heterosexual. Moreover, those who had grown up with lesbian mothers (single or otherwise) failed to show any increased likelihood of being homosexual themselves (Tasker FL & Golombok S, 1997).

On a similar topic, Wolf and Mikach (1995) interviewed 75 sons from same-sex families with two gay fathers and found only 9% identified as gay or bisexual (estimates of those with in the general population who identify as gay or bisexual vary from 4-17%).

A study into adolescent health in the United States in 2008 (Udry JR, Bearman PS & Harris KM.) comparing 46 matched pairs of homosexual/heterosexual families found that adolescents in same-sex parented families (average age of 15) were no more or less likely to be romantically involved or show substance abuse or delinquency than their counterparts brought up in heterosexual families.

Consistently, what seems to affect children's social adjustment and behavior most is the warmth and quality of their relationships with their parents, biological or otherwise - gender and sexual orientation aside (ChanRW, Raboy B & Patterson CJ, 1998). This is one effect that I'm sure we have all observed in life, unfortunately abusive and neglectful parents rarely bring up extroverted, conscientious children.

Last but not least, another area which I am hesitant to explore but feel I should mention, is gender roles and gender identity which, while not as widely researched, have not, as of yet, been proven to be influenced by parental gender (Green, Mandel, Hotvedt, Gray, & Smith, 1986) though these roles have only been researched with reference to favorite games, toys and television shows (which, in my eyes, are very subjective measures, as you all know I'm not a huge fan of gender binaries in the first place!).

If anything, what recent research is indicating is that having gay parents may actually be beneficial. Research surrounding the longest running study on same-sex families (the National Longitudinal Lesbian Family Study) which has been running since 1986, suggests that children brought up by two mothers are, on average, more intelligent and more socially well-equipped. The children who were tested were aged 17 and compared with a control group born to heterosexual parents from a similar socioeconomic and educational background.

And so as I leave you today, I urge you to speak up in favor of same-sex families, because we deserve the right to 2.5 children and a white picket fence as much as our heterosexual counter parts.
Gay rights are human rights.
This is Zee, signing out. 

The Book of Lies

Everybody Lies. 

With the exception of some intellectual disorders and a wide range of persons encompassed with in the autism spectrum, everyone lies.

As we discussed in our previous look at this topic, lying is the first hypothetical construct children will learn, and something which in maintained in later life, with the average person lying at least once a day.

This time I wanted to examine the psychology and rational behind lies, taking us all a little deeper than simply the origins of lying.

To this end, for the next 7 days I will be keeping a journal. Recording every time I lie and the reason behind it. I have aptly named this little black book, "The Book of Lies". Credit for this idea goes the @Ruby Taylor.

We all have a tendency to define what is (and isn't) a lie in differing ways, often to suit the situation we are in. The oxford dictionary defines a lie as; "an intentionally false statement, used with reference to a situation involving deception or founded on a mistaken impression, an untruth expressed as truth".

Now thats out of the way, lets examine the widely excepted "types" of lies in social psychology.

The Big Lie
This term was coined by Adolph Hitler and refers to a deception which is so extreme or large that it is often contradicted by common sense or information the person being lied to possess.  However when the lie is of sufficient magnitude it is able to succeed due to the basic human assumption that something so significant could not, and would not, be fabricated and/or the reluctance of humans to scrutinize popular belief.

Careful Speaking/misleading
Essentially refers to the selective omission of certain relevant information and facts, thought no outright lie takes place, the intent remains to make someone believe an untruth.

Compliments/false reassurance
This is perhaps the most common form of lying in which we all engage, commonly known as "white lies", and consisting of exaggerations or false sentiments intended to please another individual.

Bluffing
pretending to have an ability or intention you do not in fact possess.

Contextual Lies
Taking a truthful statement out of context in order to deceive, i.e "twisting the truth".

Emergency Lies
A lie told in order to hide a truth that would harm a third party.

Exaggeration
Hyperbole, where the facts of a fundamental truth are polarized i.e "stretching the truth".

Fabrication
The submission of a statement or fact as truth, when it is unknown as to whether it is actually true or not.

Jocose Lies
Lies told in jest for example sarcasm.

Nobel Lies
A lie that benefits others and/or maintain law and order in society.

Due to an impending exam, I'm going to leave it at that, and we can talk psychology after my exam on Thursday.

So till next time kids, remember; a half-truth is still a whole lie.
This is Z,
Signing out.

PS. Should any of you want to keep your own Book of Lies, your insights would be much appreciated, I am simply recording the type of each lie and the relationship I have with the person to whom it was told. 

Gay Genes?

Another day another blog.

I think I failed chemistry last night, so as recompense I feel I ought to incorporate some into this blog.

Today I am blogging (yet again) about the nature/nurture debate surrounding sexuality, with a little bit of scientific research to broaden your understanding (and mine).

For many of us, there is a decisive point at which we can first identify genuine sexual attraction to a member of the same sex. For others, it was something they always knew and accepted, or a gradual development over time.

Looking back, the first time I can really put my finger on it, was one of my best friends in junior high school. While the foundations had long been present, with inklings of same-sex attraction since Louisa C in grade 5 (I've always a been sucker for blondes) it was Miss M.D who forced me out of cosy denial. (I've neglected to mention her name on the preface that she is no longer that way inclined!). I wrote endless diary entries about her, torn as to whom to tell, and how to proceed, surprised and confused about how she made feel. But we're not here to talk about me, I just thought I'd share my own experience about a sexual attraction which I feel I had little control over.

Bring on the science!

A longitudinal study in Toronto, Canada (amongst others) has found that if you are male, the number of older brothers you have appears to affect the likelihood of being gay. The "fraternal birth order effect" suggests that each older brother increases your chances of being homosexual by approximately 30%. This is not thought to be environmental (from examining adoptee children) but rather genetic, and related to the mother's immune system, and the H-Y fetal antigen (present only in males), which can trigger an immune response in mothers. It is thought that mothers’ antibodies may develop a resistance to the H-Y antigen over time with exposure, meaning subsequent male fetuses are exposed to different immuno-environments. Interestingly in support of this, there is no similar correlation in same-sex attracted females.

While on the topic of females, earlier this year a gene was discovered that affects the sexual preferences of female laboratory knockout mice. Knockout mice have genes systematically removed, and when this particular gene is removed, female mice reject the advances of males and instead try to mate with other females. The mouse gene codes for an enzyme that adds sugar to proteins affecting their estrogen levels. The brains of mice embryos lacking the gene are flooded with estrogen and, as a result, develop more like the brains of male mice (with female anatomy). However, it is impossible at this stage to know whether or not there is a similar gene in humans as this particular gene does not code for the same enzyme in humans, and masculinity in humans is controlled by testosterone not estrogen.

Another study (on which I intend to elaborate in the next blog) relating to children raised in same-sex families, found that they were no more likely to consider homosexual relationships than children raised by heterosexual parents. 76 children aged 17 in the US were interviewed and compared to children raised in heterosexual families of similar household income and educational background.

To finish up, here’s a fun one... Take a look at your hands. Pay particular attention to your index and ring fingers. In women, these two fingers are usually almost equal in length. In men, the ring finger tends to be much longer. The ratio of the lengths of the index finger to the ring finger is called the 2D:4D ratio. Low ratios are considered "masculine" while high ratios "feminine" because development of fingers in the womb reflects testosterone levels. Testosterone levels are typically higher in women who experience same-sex attraction.

So next time, kids, when you're parents ask where they went wrong, tell them you're not giving their parenting style all the credit for your amazing sexuality, because some things are just random, due to a little thing called meiosis and DNA.
This is Z, signing out.